I officially retired on August 1st, although I had been out of work on disability for 2 years. I had a nice retirement luncheon with many friends and it was beautiful and gave me positive closure to my career. I’m trying to figure out retirement along with my hubby. So far, everyday is like a Saturday. Slow morning start, a few chores and errands, then rest/nap/tv until time to cook dinner. I’ve slowed down a lot. Some of it is necessary and expected, but I fear some of it is also an excuse. I know I need to find a couple of more activities to occupy my hands and brain. But not today. I don’t do this often, but I’m giving in to not feeling well and plan to spend the day in bed. I’m cautious about how much time I “rest” in my bedroom. Usually a couple of hours a day. Sometimes I nap, sometimes I read and sometimes just enjoy the solitude. But I make myself get up and come downstairs after no more than 2 hours. I catch a few car shows or wicked tuna or other macho shows with my husband. It worries me just a little that I took a day in bed. I slept for hours, though, so maybe it was needed. I seem to be battling a partial blockage. I’ve learned the signs. This is not like an ER thing, but I need to back off to a liquid, soft diet and more liquid than food. This has happened once before and the fistula goes into overtime taking the pressure from blockage. That means I’m changing that thing every few hours! Such a hassle, and definitely confined to home. I think diet change and time will resolve it, hopefully soon. Lesson learned though….no matter how bad I want that chicken enchilada, I should rethink it…it’s not worth it. I don’t know if it was the enchilada. I think maybe a combination of things I ate. I had a reckless, indulgent day and now I’m paying the price.
I’ll pick up where I left off yesterday. I did better today, still monitoring the diet, still not feeling too well. This is when I get a little nervous, maybe not fully understanding what’s going on. I finished my week of chemo pills on Wednesday. I’m wondering when I’ll start feeling better, when the cancer shrinks back from my intestine and allows it to open up more. I really need this chemo to work. I don’t like being this slowed down. Bob and I are both afraid to travel thes days and that puts a damper on our retirement. I’d like to feel confident that I could travel again. I’m hoping maybe in a few more months. Sometimes I have to work pretty hard to not feel sorry for myself.